This issue is too many of us are consumed in comparison. We all have this “you haven’t seen what I’ve seen” mentality, regardless if you have seen the highest of dimensions, the brightest of angels or the darkest of demons. Too many have that mentality as if that’s the rites of passage for everyone they come into contact with.
You’re right. I haven’t been through what you have, nor have I seen what you have. That’s the point, because you haven’t been through or seen what I have as well. We’re supposed to share those experiences to get the best idea of what it must be like to have experienced such a thing.
Allow people to BE THEMSELVES.
Stop forcing some way of life on someone just because that’s what you’re experiencing.
A funny example is, when I was young I loved breakfast and wanted to eat it at anytime, and for some reason I loved being able even more to have bacon and eggs at night haha. When I used to do it though my dad would get mad and seriously question/almost scold me for eating breakfast food when it wasn’t “breakfast time”. I used to remember being so confused as to why I received that response for eating food, which was to be eaten, regardless of time of day (and which I didn’t know was restricted to a time of day). It didn’t make sense until my mom let me know, that was something his parents were serious about. So it wasn’t until that moment where I could truly understand this forceful feeling that I wasn’t supposed to be doing that, he grew up with it. It was instilled, and hadn’t I been told the reasoning for the situation, I may have grown up to believe the same & taught my kids the same. Something so trivial, in my eyes, but taken very seriously at a different place and time period; this is how understanding, deciding what’s right and wrong is determined. But who’s to really say what is right and wrong?
Many of us try to make others devoid of what we feel we’re missing. So if I feel I didn’t get enough love, I almost do everything in my power to make sure no one else knows what it’s like to have enough or any love. If I’ve always been abused whether verbally or physically, it’s very likely when I have the chance (meaning someone to fulfill the role I once was forced into) that I will “treat someone how I was treated/taught”.
There’s an exception to this & its rising above “the cycle”, but before continuing, just for clarity, the same is true of positive actions; if I was always smothered and around cheery people, I’m very likely to elicit that upon others, regardless if they’re receptive or not.
Rising above the cycle or the frequency is to learn to maneuver for yourself, & not out of automated programming.
Me & my fam used to eat out every Friday, & called it “fast food Friday”, I chose this because it’s a seemingly neutral action, & isn’t excessive enough to be considered “bad”. Now, about 10 years later, I love to go and do that same action, without me realizing, but it’s dear to me. Actually so rooted in me, that to not do it makes me feel like I’m straying away from a part of “me”. But what if this action isn’t positively aligned with my current situation. Maybe I can’t afford it, maybe fast food, even once a week is too heavy & bleak for my energy, maybe I’m trying to exercise discipline and this is just one habit I seem to struggle with and can’t break. Whatever be the reason, it’s important to realize at the root of most of our core actions there’s a programming we’re hugging on to for dear life; its guiding our life, whether or not we know it or want it to, and if not acknowledged we’ll continue to be a product of subjective programming as opposed to a fully functioning, Free-Spirit.
I say all that to say, until you learn to do this for yourself, it’s all too easy to expect someone else to be like you.
To be like a program.
The program you’re used to, the one you like to watch and turn on at the flick of a finger.
But people aren’t like that. And You should learn to not force them to be. We do it all the time, to our loved ones, to strangers, colleagues, situations, the universe. We must remember we see but a percentage of what truly lies “outside” of us, and to force everything to look like this very narrow understanding is to truly be missing something Greater.
Don’t force everything to be & look like you want, force your understanding to expand so you can identify with a much more abundant version of yourself.
I’ve always believed you have to get outside of your programming and yourself to do so, and when you do you’ll end up at a place where you won’t have to distinguish between right/wrong or what is/isn’t, you’ll just Know.