We all have a version of ourselves we’ve wanted to avoid or live opposite of. Whether we’re not as social as we’d like to be, maybe we wish we had more self control, or we just wish we were as likeable as the people around us with those magnetic personalities, those we watch with the ability to make anyone and anything gravitate towards them. But why can’t you be that way? It may be because of where your focus lies.
Most of us when we see something that we want, we instantly enter a mindset that believes it’s “too far out of our grasp”, so we somewhat become the donkey not realizing the carrot dangling in front of it is also strapped to its body, where in its current “blind” mindset, it can never reach the carrot. To progress is to learn, to understand there’s always more than one way to do something, & to be versatile & clever is to use the myriad of tactics in tandem. To take the best of each mode or method we witness and utilize it in a way that’s best for ourselves. If we do this, then seeing an illusion or a situation for what it is becomes more simple. Then you’re not the ignorant donkey that can’t achieve a goal, you’re Conscious & now focused on actions that’ll actually yield the result you want, simultaneously paying back the jackass that staged the illusion.
That’s the first huge issue, being part of an illusion that we’ve yet to identify. The second is the lack of experience placing focus on the right intention. If I want to be a better person, I should focus on the traits I believe someone with great character exudes. Meaning, if I believe honesty is a trait of great character, then honesty should be my focus and what it means to be honest. My attention & concern should Not be keyed into “being the opposite of a liar”. The difference should be clear between where the attention is being held, regardless if the aim of both desires are the same. One is in full action of becoming active in honesty for the sake of honesty, whereas the other is acting in avoidance of a specific trait (dishonesty), in the name of obtaining or becoming what they only hope to be (honest). So the results of these intentions will yield different “outcomes” reflected in their versions or levels of honesty.
In the first example, we’ll see a distinct progression of character stimulated through challenges or series of events that will see if honesty is the state this being wants to identify with. The second, seemingly similar and parallel, will differ immensely; their challenges and self-dialogue will all be centered around what they were trying (emphasis on trying) to not be anymore. They’ll run into the same situations where they were consistently lying, their thoughts will enter the same patterns – “maybe I should just lie, it’s easier, I’m scared if they really know what I think, said, or did”. Everything that they were running from will reappear like the dreaded killer in horror films. It’s inevitable. It’s how the movie works, no?
So, it seems to be a simple solution. Address it. If you got a call that just never stopped calling, wouldn’t you answer? If you were being chased your whole life, how long would it take for you to decide you didn’t want to run anymore?
What makes you think this is any different? The only difference is, this is more important, it’s just like you’re running blind in the dark through the forest just hoping to have gained distance from the threat. You know what I’m talking about too don’t you? Surely you’ve felt yourself gain so much ground to only go nowhere. What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? What about yourself don’t you want to identify with. What’s so haunting & uncomfortable? You should hug it and make friends with it. Fighting with it only feeds it. You can’t win in a fight against yourself. In that battle, only Surrendering ensures Victory to both sides. So why do anything but? Don’t live to avoid who you were. Live to incorporate them, understand why they were present, what they felt they lacked and never received from anyone else. Provide that for them. The ear they needed to listen to their tragedy and triumph, lend it. Be a friend, be a lover, supporter. Empower, encourage. Don’t give up, even if everyone else has on them. Give what they’ve always yearned for, be what you’ve always needed, love what and who you were, who you were always meant to become. Most importantly, Be & remain Free.
Give your Self the chance to express what you’ve always desired, learn Humility, strive to be Courageous, & remember we’re the Love we’ve given & learned to accept.